Beyond the Poisoned Apple

Colorless.

JRW — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 01:53:34 +0000

In silence of the night, I often wonder…

Through the melancholy window, the shadowed world is dying; not being born. A colorless sun shines down, painfully bright. Watching as it is all slowly washed away. A gentle heartbeat drifting off into silence.

It’s not imagination gone astray, especially when it is heard, what others have to say. The window is cloudy and cracked, but I own it. Maybe it is different and strange, but it isn’t something that can be changed. The canyon only widens, and in time, will fill with fiery, uncrossable water. Is there any point in fighting alienation? What sort of person would that be, to be defeated? Why does it even matter to others? Why should I let it matter to me? My heart is not made of stone, my love is as real as anyone elses. Or perhaps, it’s true and I am just blind.

In sleep, the torment of wondering will finally cease. All of the questions that once were, will dissolve into the beauty of a new moment. Moving toward things more important…

Half.

JRW — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 01:18:52 +0000

Since 1998 I’ve been in the veterinary profession. I’d like to say that I started at the bottom and worked my way up, but really I started at the bottom as a volunteer and haven’t gotten all that far. I enjoy being a certified veterinary technician but this week it’s been made clear to me that I’ve hit the ceiling and the rumor is that outpatient technicians aren’t worth much in the veterinary world…we are easily replaced by any spunky highschool grad who likes animals. So why did I spend 4 years in college?! Why do I have all of these student loans that will never get paid off?!

After January 31st, I will have been in this career field for exactly half of my life. HALF. Crazy, right? Most of the time, I pour my heart and soul into my work. Having the advantage of being single, the work day used to spill over the timeclock and into my living room. I’ve since tried (key word- “tried”!) to keep work physically at work. Even now, I’m sitting here tossing around ideas of how to optimize our inventory in order to meet the needs of my hospital. There I go again…my hospital, it’s not my hospital, I just work there. HALF of my life has been spent hunched over on my knees wrestling with animals. By no means is my job ergonomic.

Fourteen years as an outpatient technician. Fourteen, coincidently that is also the number of employees that have left in the past three years. I came running into the veterinary world excited, motivated and full of passion…fourteen years later, I’m just trying to afford life and survive. Chris Tomlin’s lyrics echo in my mind, “Where you go I’ll go, Where you stay I’ll stay, When you move, I’ll move
I will follow…”. I’m fairly certain that I’ve mastered the ‘staying’ part, admittedly mostly because I’m just stuck. But, hey, that should count for something. This is probably just one of those ‘big picture’ life moments that includes inappropriately questioning God about His reasoning for keeping me as a tech. Come tomorrow, I’m sure that it will pass and I will be joyfully serving my Lord and Savior right where I am.

But I find myself hoping that in 2026, I won’t be saying that I’ve been a tech for twice as long. If I am still where I am now, with the current turnover rate, in 2026 I will have outlasted 90 employees! Oh wow…time to take the rest of the lyrics to heart:

“All your ways are good
All your ways are sure
I will trust in you alone…”

-Chris Tomlin

And Into the Orchard

JRW — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 02:33:52 +0000

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Galatians 5:22 NIV

Holiday travel left a few gaps along the pews this sunday morning, but spirit-filled singing poured into every corner of the sanctuary. There is nothing more heartwarming than the experience of spontaneous joy while worshipping together. Not working in ministry leaves the majority of my time being spent in the secular world, getting lost in the rest of God’s garden. Thorn bushes tug at my sides in an attempt to pull me away and vines creep their way around my ankles; and in all my sin, I stumble, falling flat on my face. But on sunday morning, it’s like standing in the warm sun and gentle breeze of an open field of grain; a freedom only found in the forgiveness of Christ.

That joy should not be limited to the confines of sunday morning, it should spread across the orchard, like wild flowers springing up among the weeds. While continuing to grow in Christ, loving him and getting to know him, Christ also grows within us. Our time in fellowship with each other is a source of encouragement and inspiration. With prayer, praise and thanksgiving we walk beyond the poisoned apple…And Into the Orchard.

(Photo Credit: http://blog.officelinks.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/seedlings.jpg)

A New Chapter

JRW — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 02:37:25 +0000

The end of one, is the beginning of another. It’s a relief to be finally finished with this little book. Writing it was an interesting and intimidating endeavor, but I’m excited to be at the start of something much ‘lighter’ (but probably equally as challenging). Writing has this way of pushing me out of my comfort zone, allowing for a closer relationship with God.

Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground. Psalm 143:10 NIV

Sirens and Trinkets.

JRW — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 22:08:34 +0000

Setting out for a mid-morning stroll on my day off (that actually seemed to extend itself into a four hour trek), I did not expect much excitement. That is, until lights and I siren startled me right off the road, nearly crashed into someone’s mailbox! It was odd to see that a car also pulled off behind the officer, wasn’t sure what was going on. So, I kept on walking, until the cop asked me to step over (LOL guess a pedestrian can’t exactly ’pull’ over). Great. I knew that I was on the ’wrong’ side of the road, but it’s not possible to hop the large barriers to get onto the correct side of the road. Then I wondered if walking facing traffic was just a recommendation or an actual law. Well, turns out, it had nothing to do with me.

Someone had called the cops on me! That’s a first. The officer explained that someone called in to report a ”school aged kid” walking down the road. And he had to make sure that I wasn’t skipping school, I suppose that I could have been running away (it was near the location of the girl that ran away somewhat recently). The officer, unfortunately I did not catch his name, thought that the whole incident was rather funny once he found out that I was NOT a school aged kid. One look at my driver’s license was all that it took to figure out my age. Then he asked me if I worked at Subway…I seriously need to sow something over that logo on my jacket, I only have that jacket because it’s red & weather-proof (I’m certain that it has prevented me from becoming roadkill more than once!).

Always finding all sorts of things discarded on the side of the road…today it was a Nomination Italy necklace in the shape of a puzzle piece…turns out it’s a ‘His & Hers’ type of thing, there was only the ‘His’ side of the puzzle…guess they broke up. The set fo them together is valued at $250…so strange that this little hunk of steel was worth $125 in it’s day before it was thrown out.

Wow…what an adventure! (Hahaha- nobody is going to understand why that is so funny…inside joke =)

Prejudice & Stigma

JRW — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 14:21:44 +0000

To have sympathy for those ‘good’ people that have bad things happen to them happens with ease. Those battling cancer, especially children, for example. Their suffering tugs at our heart and we readily extend our love to them.

What about those who are suffering from bad things because of a bad decision? Do we also extend our sympathy without hesitation to them? Or do we quickly pass judgement and withold the message of the Gospel by ignoring their existence? They brought it upon themselves. They deserve it. It’s punishment for a sinful life. But aren’t we all sinners?

Jesus talked to the woman at the well. He ate with those individuals that others would not dare socialize with. Christ’s offer of forgiveness and eternal life is for ALL. Jesus did not say “Judge your neighbor…” His commandment is to “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Reference passages: Matthew 22:39 and John 4). Moving past prejudice can be challenging at times. A challenge that we should be willing to take on. We can show our love, even without condoning a particular choice or way of life. As Christians, shouldn’t we be the first to move out of our comfort zones to care for those that a majority of people prefer to ignore?

Nothing Else Needed.

JRW — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 21:02:25 +0000

Reinhold Niebuhr’s 1943 widely recognized prayer is simply worded, yet profoundly decorated in Christian wisdom.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

Accepting the things that I cannot change. Essentially, that means giving up the feeble attempts to control everything and turning to trust Christ instead. However, that does not imply that it’s time to just sit around and wait…

Courage to change the things I can. When it seems as though there is no way out, it’s tempting to fall into a pit of self-centered dispair. In these moments, it’s time to turn to the Father with a heart of gratitude, praise and prayer.

I’m tired of just focusing on surviving. I’m tired of surviving. I’m tired of pretending that, one day, life will be more than just surviving and I will have the chance to follow those things that I am passionate about. Why can’t that day be today? Why should circumstance determine whether or not I’m involved in more than just surviving? I don’t need money or nice clothes to do more than just survive. In fact, none of these worldly things are required in order to turn care into an action. If I were to wait until everything was ‘in order’, (let’s just be honest here) I’d be waiting a lifetime.

There’s more to living than just surviving. Go ahead, get involved.

Loving Locally

JRW — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 15:53:03 +0000

They’re our friends and neighbors. They’re the small business owners. They’re the dairy farmers who make the BEST icecream during the summer. They’re the ones who feed the chickens running around in their backyard (there’s no argument- farm fresh eggs are just better!). They are those who are struggling to support organizations that provide desperately needed services and care in our community. They are the volunteers at the town animal shelter. They are those feeding the hungry this holiday season. They are the locals.

Show some love for the locals! They work hard to stretch a low budget and depend on volunteers and donations, but often cannot afford the publicity that large (corporate?) organizations have. We give thanks for all of those who are making a difference right here in our own backyard =)

(photo credit: http://greencs.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/cute-kitten-in-turkey-basket.jpg)

Privilege of Prayer

JRW — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 03:10:22 +0000

Every 90 seconds…a baby is born with HIV.

HALF of those children will die before reaching their 2nd birthday

Over 16 million children are ophaned from HIV/AIDS…Can you even picture that many people?!

30 million people have died from HIV/AIDS and another 33 million are currently living with HIV/AIDS (probably more than that now…)

BUT there is something that we can do about it! Visit www.KeepAChildAlive.org

Over here in cushy North America, we now have access to all of the medical care that helps dramatically reduce the risk of mother-to-child transmission of HIV. Most of us do not see the devastation caused by HIV/AIDS first-hand; for us, it’s “out of sight, out of mind”. But for so many people living with HIV, it is a reality. In many countries, like India and Africa, HIV/AIDS is passed down from one generation to the next. It spreads like wildfire especially in those areas where women and children are abused on a daily basis.

However, there is hope…with anti-retroviral medications, these children can go on to lead healthy, virus-free lives and HIV/AIDS infected adults can receive the medications that they need to help prevent the virus from spreading.

These women & children need our support. Even if you cannot make a monetary donation, you can still join the fight against mother-to-child transmission of HIV/AIDS…they desperately need our prayers. As a Christian, I have the priviledge of prayer…and I’m pledging to join in this fight. And I hope that you will join me!

Visit these great websites for more information (the sources of data listed above…I didn’t just make up the numbers. Yes, there really are millions of HIV/AIDS infected people…MILLIONS!)

www.KeepAChildAlive.org

www.jnj.com/nobabybornwithhiv

www.annielennoxsing.com

www.cdc.gov/hiv

the Invisible.

JRW — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 03:01:23 +0000

I was unable to prognosticate the outcome of such events…for which, I am actually glad. For if I had known, the experience would have never come to be.

It can be a tortuous path, full of unforseen twists that serve to challenge. At times, it can be difficult to make the ‘responsible’ decision; especially one that, to the naked eye, looks to be just the opposite.